exhausted

i feel bad admitting this...like im not doing enough in my life right now to say that i am...
but i am so exhausted.
between working 2 jobs, school starting back up, and constantly worrying about 2 very important people to me i am just exhausted.
then my dad goes and says things like "youre the only one that understands"...
its a lot to take.
to become the one my dad is leaning on.
i do understand. i know my mom. i know the y. it isnt easy.
but wow. i just keep hearing him say that.
im not ready for more surgeries.
i know it isnt me, and im not the one who has to go through the surgery.
and i want her to be fixed.
i want her to be healthy.
but if something.........i cant even say it.
i would be so broken and devastated.
she is my best friend. my roommate. my dog's other mom. my rock.
its hard to be strong all the time.
im scared.
for laura.
for mom.
and as selfish as it sounds coming out of my mouth...for me.
and because of all that, i am tired.