some days i feel like i am faking it all.
like if i were to just give up on some things i would be so much happier.
i fake a smile each day at work.
but i keep going back.
i fake a smile when people ask me about my mom when really all i want to do is curl up and cry.
i dont want to lose her, but i am so scared that i am going to.
i fake a smile at school...
i hate what im studying...but i have no clue what i want to do.
i even fake a smile at home some days.
being fake isnt fun.
but sometimes i feel like i cant express what i really feel without being judged.
yeah, i am scared. and yeah, im sad. and yeah, im not really happy where im at.
but i keep going at it every day.
this week has been hard.
ever since mom gave us the news its all i can think about.
i am so scared about the days, weeks, and months to come.
i try to stay positive, but its hard.
i feel like i need a constant hug to keep it together.
instead, i plaster on a fake smile, keep going, and try to stay strong.
i cant keep this up though...its starting to wear me down.
i need a break. i need to just cry.
i need you to be there for me.
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