theres just no getting over you

Will it ever happen?
Will I ever get over you?
I fully know you don't want the same things I do yet I can't make my heart get over you.
I've tried. In many different ways.
I've tried going out with other people.
I've tried faking it.
I just can't shake my feelings for you.
Some days I don't want to. I think maybe if I hold out long enough it will happen. I feel better thinking you really do feel the same, you're just scared to show it.
I lie to myself a lot.
For some reason, something in me keeps holding on to you and I can't get over it.
Eventually...

funeral

today was the funeral.
i think in every way it was perfect for nana.
we had mass, which honored her strong catholic heritage.
there was a bagpipes player who played danny boy and amazing grace.
all of her children were there (except, of course, Earl, who she is in heaven with even now).
jimmy played the piano which was perfect because she gave him the piano he learned to play on.
there were 3 rosaries in her casket.
we sang.
we cried.
some talked.
perfect.
sad.
still hard to believe she really is gone.

I needed you
You weren't there
I asked
You couldn't come
I cried
And was alone

nana

shes gone.
i cant believe it.
i know i didnt have the closest of relationiships with her, and i made fun of her crazy ways.
but now...shes gone.
no more of her crazy stories.
no more of her old irish songs.
it happened so fast.
i know she was old, but i still didnt expect it.

christmas decorations!

we dont have a TON of christmas decorations up, but i have pictures of the few we do have, so i thought i would share.

here is our tree. no ornaments (yet) but we have mostly ones we made growing up that we will put up eventually...sometime before christmas...lol.

Here are our christmas candles and a cute reindeer. :)

STOCKINGS!!! Lauras, Jones' (our puppy), and mine!

Other Christmas decorations around the house.

Some outdoor decorations. :)

Hope you enjoyed this brief tour of my AZ christmas decorations!

grenade

Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash,
Tossed it in the trash you did

To give me all your love
Is all I ever asked
But what you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya
Oh, oh I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby
But you won't do the same

why i get a flu shot...

many people have asked me why i, a 21 yr old perfectly healthy person, get the flu shot every year. i dont really feel like i should have to justify why i get it, it seems like common sense to me to get the flu shot, but i got to thinking about it and heres why...

i get it for the people i love. for people i dont know who have weakened immune systems. for everyone around me. for myself. for social responsibility. for the kids i work with on a weekly basis. but most of all i get it for laura.

that sounds weird, im sure. but i live with her. she has a weakened immune system. if she were to get the flu it could be devastating. if her mom or sister were to get the flu it could be even worse.

honestly, i dont understand why people DONT get the flu shot unless for some medical reason they cant. its simple. it barely hurts. it takes a few minutes out of your life. you can even find free shot clinics to get it if you cant afford it. i come into contact with so many people every day who it could be devastating for if they were to get the flu that for me it seems like a no-brainer.

i guess not everyone thinks like me...